In Which the Agreement is Put to the Test

From the diary of Dulcie, Crown Princess of Bentlefay

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Fortunately, we had warning. Even in the holiday atmosphere of the feast, the captains had too much experience to take down their guard, and I had already been feeling sorry for the “watch” swaying dejectedly about in the crow’s nest of the great ship, although Long Bob assured me over dinner that he and the kitchen staff would have their share of the food if not the merriment.

Now, over the shattered remains of the sweet course, we heard the thudding on the deck that could only be someone running, and the men were on their feet before the watch burst in.

“’Ware!” he gasped out. “Three ships. Norhammer flags. Coming straight at us!”

It was as though he had touched a match to a powder trail. Long Bob roared “To your stations!” and the men shot up the ladder to the deck one by one with the precision of arrows. “Young Dulcie,” he said to me, “stay down here with your escort. I’ll be damned if any harm comes to you in pirate hands!” And he was gone up the ladder himself, with Harker and Masters in hot pursuit, each shouting “My ship!” in an inharmonious counterpoint.

The four men of the escort were on their feet, but not before Lynde. “I’ll protect her,” she yelled at them. “You go fight!”

That confused them and they showed a disposition to argue with her, but she gained her point. “If you four are fighting, they will be less likely to get down here,” she said reasonably, “and if they did get down here, it will be with more force than five of us could overcome in any case.”

So we were alone in the long room of the crew’s quarters, with the crumbs of the feast around us, and I looked around a little dazedly.

“That all happened so fast,” I said. “I suppose fighting is like that?”

“We had better stay by the ladder,” said Lynde. “I want to hear the progress of the battle, and there will be time enough for us to hide under the table if we are boarded.”

It was so typical of Lynde’s practical common sense, with the tail of absurdity at the end, that I burst out laughing and couldn’t seem to stop.

Lynde looked surprised. “I don’t see what’s funny about that. Under the table is an excellent place to hide. It offers excellent facilities for snatching intruders by the ankles, and…” She looked sharply at me. “Oh. No, this is a very inconvenient time for you to have hysterics, your majesty.”

Which made me laugh harder, until she asked me if it would be necessary to throw cold water over me, and I closed my mouth but the laughter seemed to squirt out my nose and my eyes started to water. Finally she sighed, went to the table, and plucked a bottle from one of the cruets. “Here,” she said. “Take a deep breath.”

The vinegar felt like it was shriveling my nose away from the inside, and my eyes were streaming abominably, but at least I stopped laughing.

“There,” said Lynde with exasperated affection. “Honestly!”

“I’b sorry,” I said with my voice all in my nose. “I’b dever had hysterics – I doad dow what habbed to be.”

“Have a napkin,” she said more kindly, and I blew my nose as comprehensively as I could. “I’m sure it will be awhile until they’re within bowshot and we may as well be comfortable.”

Just then there was a barked order from Long Bob, and a momentary silence fell. “I wonder what--” I began, only to be interrupted by a tremendous booming sound which set the ship rocking till we could no longer keep our footing and had to grab for something fixed to keep upright. A bottle fell sideways and rolled who knew where, and a sprinkle of debris pattered down on the table and our heads. I wondered if it would be inappropriate for me to have hysterics again, but Lynde remained unperturbed.

“Cannon,” she said in an interested voice as she held on for dear life to a spar. “I have heard of them, but never seen them in use. Your relations are ahead of the fashion, your majesty.”

The ship took an unconscionable time to stop swinging, but at last we were able to let go of our supports and brush the dust out of our hair.

“Well,” said Lynde with the air of someone making the best of things, “that’s a convenience. I couldn’t imagine what kind of back-and-forth we would have with arrows in the middle of the sea.”

Long Bob barked again and we grabbed our supports. This time we were prepared for the boom but it seemed even louder, and I wondered if it were possible for the Golden Gull to be broken apart that way, and if it were, would it take very long to drown.

Lynde seemed to be thinking along much the same lines. “I’m certain we will have won the battle with that round, as long as we stay afloat,” she said brightly.

I stuck my tongue out at her. “If all you can do is be cheerful I wish you’d shut up,” I said. “You sound like a nanny.”

“All right, so long as you can manage not to have hysterics again,” she said unperturbed. “In that case, I’m sure if the water is cold enough it will take us practically no time to drown.”

“That’s more like it.”

The ship was still swaying and we had not yet let go of our supports when Long Bob came clattering down the ladder. “All’s well, miladies!” he chortled with high good humor. “One of their vessels is taking on water fast and the others are headed toward the horizon. Masters is keeping his eye on the matter by spyglass, but I’m not worried – they’d no idea what hit ‘em.”

“I don’t even think we have a single cannon in Bentlefay,” I said. “You’re ahead of your time.”

“Well,” Long Bob said modestly, “it’s all in the way of business. An investment, you might say. Would you care to come up on deck? There’s no danger now.”

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