In Which Formal Greetings Are Exchanged

Thomas Crowder to Mistress Rebecca Falconer

Dear Mistress Falconer,

I write on behalf of your cousin, Master Owen Falconer, whose rheumatism prevents his taking up the pen on his own account. He wishes me to tell you that he is well, that he never lost his eyesight as you threatened him with when he wouldn’t wear a hat on sunny days, and that he is still strong enough to throw a bookish young man down the stairs. He would like to add that he thinks of you often, and hopes to be reacquainted with you and your family now that friendly relations have been reestablished between the two kingdoms.

Won’t you, and however many of your family wishes to be included, consent to travel to Dumcruckle for a visit? Lady Dumcruckle assures me that rooms here in the manor can be placed at your disposal for any period of time you cared to avail yourselves of them. Please do write if you are able, even if you are not able to come. Master Falconer is anxious for news of you and how you have fared after all these years.

Yours very sincerely,
Thomas Crowder

P.S. Now that he is out of the room, I would like to add on my own account that Master Falconer is lonely, and that as his admiring friend, I believe it would do him good to see the faces of his family, and give him a new lease on life. Do please write – it would be a great day for both of us.

T.C.

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Minnie Falconer to Thomas Crowder

Dear Master Crowder,

Mother was very pleased to hear from her cousin and wishes me to remind him that carrying half a potato in his pocket would have been an infallible prophylactic against rheumatism, as she has told him over and over, and if he has ignored her advice for all these years it is nothing but a judgment. I write on her behalf as her near sight has grown unreliable in recent years, but she wishes me to inform Master Falconer that her fingers are as nimble as ever owing to her forethought.

My mother and I would be very pleased to avail ourselves of your and Lady Dumcruckle’s hospitality. We can arrange to arrive ten days hence, if that is agreeable to all.

Thank you very much for your trouble in writing and Master Falconer for his kind thoughts of us – and also Lady Dumcruckle for her kindly offered hospitality. We look forward very much to meeting you all.

Yours very truly,
Minnie Falconer

P.S. Now that my mother is out of the room I must add on my own account that while she makes a pose of disagreeable severity, Mother is lonely as well. I remember my cousins only dimly as I was a young child when the borders closed, but she has spoken fondly for years of Master Falconer and his fine young daughter. I myself am looking forward to meeting you all, and so is Mother, although she may not seem so when you first see her.

Many thanks,
M.F.

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King Lucan of Marshweather to Crown Prince Hugo

My dear boy,

Crubble and Brett and I managed to puzzle out the treaties, so I’ll be sending them down with an armed escort and all the trimmings. It will be a relief to see you all again – it’s been no end of a bore with you all down in Bentlefay eating Davin out of house and home, though once the men came back there were a few more people to talk to at least. I hope you and Marta have had a good time.

By the way, her parents came to court the other day. They were looking very scared and mysterious and everything they said seemed to have at least three meanings, but it turned out they just wanted to know what your intentions were. It took me twenty minutes to figure out what they were talking about but once I did I just told them you and Marta were secretly betrothed and that was that. I hope you didn’t want to keep it a secret any longer – the Duchess hadn’t even gotten as far as the courtyard when I left the room an hour later for lunch, and there was a trail of tittering ladies in her wake like you wouldn’t believe. Marta’s a nice girl and I’m sure she’ll make a decent Queen, but if she’s anything like her mother you might want to keep the state secrets to yourself, if you know what I mean.

In any case, tell Davin and Tina that everything should be there around the fourth and we are grateful for their hospitality in the face of our actions and all that. I can’t think of the diplomatic way to say it off the top of my head, but you can come up with something.

Your affectionate father,
L.M.R.