In Which Help Appears From An Unexpected Source

Lynde Falconer to Lady Winifred Fleem:

Dear Lady Winifred,

I wish to apply for the position of Princess Dulcie’s bodyguard. I am strong and tall above the average, and I have spent most of my life studying armed and unarmed combat. My father was the arms-master of Dumcruckle, and I had no brothers, so I was able to benefit from the best martial training in the kingdom. I am also lettered (as you can see) and I am familiar with the basics of mathematics and logic. I was fortunate to share the lessons of the Dumcruckle family from an early age, so you can have confidence in my education, as well as in my strength in arms.

My cousin will vouch for my character and honesty, and I also have references from the Dumcruckle family.

Yours very sincerely,
Lynde Falconer

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Lady Winifred Fleem to Lynde Falconer:

Dear Mistress Falconer,

The position is yours. Please report to me at the Tower tomorrow after breakfast. No references necessary if your training in arms proves satisfactory.

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Lady Winifred Fleem to Sir Bardolph Hingle:

Dear Dolph,

We have at last succeeded in finding a bodyguard for the princess, and in a most unexpected quarter. A young woman of Dumcruckle’s yeomanry has presented herself as a candidate, and has turned out to be quite providentially fitted for the position.

You know from my letters that the princess has been plagued by a series of most annoying attempts at seduction. It was to be expected, of course – putting aside the obvious advantages of an alliance with the King’s sole heiress, Princess Dulcie’s personal advantages surpass those of any other lady in the kingdom. It has really been a whirlwind year since her debut, what with the unreliability of her bodyguards, not to speak of the tiresome responsibility of marriage proposals from every scion in Bentlefay, and every younger son of an impoverished family in the Nine Kingdoms! Some of them never even bothered to pretend that they had met her! It would be laughable if it had not been such a real problem.

Fortunately, the difficulty of the bodyguards has now been solved at least, and Mistress Falconer appears to be both loyal and sensible. The first thing that strikes one is her sheer size: she is well over six feet tall and outweighs any strong man, but her ability in arms is no less than her bulk. Evan Archer was quite impressed by her skill in swordplay, archery and dagger work, and Nicholas Rafe had high praise of her ability in unarmed combat – for him, at least. Even old Bilk could not complain of her quickness in identifying poisons, exposing invisible ink and picking out new faces from a lineup. He says that in ten years or so, she might even think about trying to work part time as his assistant, if he is not yet in his grave. I have really never heard him so enthusiastic about anyone.

The royal family remember you fondly and send their regards. The new bedroom wing is a miracle of convenience compared to the draughty old mausoleum the poor dears used to have to live in, and I miss no opportunity to remind them who built it!

Yours affectionately,
Winnie

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Lynde Falconer to Thomas Crowder:

Dear Tom,

Well, I had thought it was an outside chance, but you were right – I have obtained the post with the Princess Dulcie, and I take up my duties tomorrow morning! I applied to Lady Winifred by letter, and I had barely reached my lodgings after leaving it at the castle when a messenger panted up with her reply. Fortunately I was still in the foyer, or the poor lad might have had trouble with some of the rowdies at the Burl Pig. I have been very comfortable thanks to my cousin’s care and nobody has attempted to trouble me, but I have seen the men be very nettlesome with any strangers who look at all weak.

I went back to the castle the next morning and met Lady Winifred. She is a darling: very small and fat, with long black curls setting off her pink-and-white complexion and enormous brown eyes like a fawn’s, and she has the ugliest lapdog I have ever seen. She carries it everywhere, and I can’t tell if is because she is passionately attached to it or because it provides such a startling contrast. Lady Winifred is in charge of everything at the castle – or if she isn’t, she has taken charge – and she rushed me right away to the armory to test my skills. The arms-master here is Evan Archer, and he remembered Father from the skirmishes with Marshweather when we were all children. He is very kind, but very strict indeed – however, I was able to win his approval once I had beaten him in fencing a couple of dozen times. Of course, the archery was not a problem since I practice that for relaxation, and my ability with the daggers was able to meet his standards, which are not very high. A young man named Rafe tested me in unarmed combat and was able to teach me many new holds which he had learned in the East. Still, my size and swiftness were able to prevail in enough grappling matches that he consented to approve me. At the end of the morning an incredibly wizened and bent old man sidled in as though he were infiltrating the place, and was introduced to me as Master Bilk. He is an ex-thief – oh, he is very proud of it, because he was never caught and remains the only thief in Bentlefay’s history to retire intentionally – and he gave me some training in the minor espionage skills. Most of the techniques were new to me, but since they tended to be variations on quickness of eye and logic (puzzle-solving, as it were), I had no trouble mastering them with a little practice.

Lady Winifred told me that I had the position, and offered to send the messenger to the Burl Pig for my things. They must have had much trouble indeed keeping a bodyguard, since she wanted me to start right away. I was firm however and said I would come tomorrow morning, since I do not want the messenger to come to any harm, and in any case, it would be rude not to at least bid farewell to Cousin Duncan. I have not yet met the princess, and I hope she takes to me, although we may not have much in common; by all accounts she is most beautiful, and her mind will necessarily be on enjoyment, if not on making the most advantageous match.

I hope all is well in Dumcruckle and that the schoolchildren do not give you too much trouble. I won’t ask you about your book, knowing from experience how much it pains you when you are not writing well, but I hope you will give me news of your progress if you feel able. I will write again tomorrow with news of my first day at court. Do read my letters to Father if you are able to go and see him; I think he will be proud of my new post and interested in hearing of Evan Archer again. It is so bad for him to mope about now that the doctor will not let him fight.
I miss you, as ever, but I am optimistic that with this endeavor I will be able to save a great deal of money toward buying the Angel farm, and the sooner we can afford that, the sooner we will be able to wed. I count the hours until we can be together again.

Your loving,
Lynde

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